Welcome to my blog – Intro

Hi, my name is Anais Snow (the pixel art character above is me, by the way) and this is my very first time starting a blog. Ah, what should I say? A few of my friends have made their blogs on this site and I saw somebody posting their original work here and I was intrigued, to say the least.

I’ve written a lot since I was young. Putting words on paper was just simply wonderful and exciting, breathing life to new ideas. And I guess this is taking that to a whole new level.

Well, let’s start by telling you what I want to do with this blog:

• Post original stories I’ve written
• Maybe some art
• Progress on my original works
• A little bit of journalism (and maybe dream journal)
• A little day-to-day minutiae if I feel like it
• Getting to know other writers

Hmm, that’s not much but I’m pretty nervous starting my first blog. Writing in a diary is no strange thing but this is the first time complete strangers will be reading my content. In addition to that, I have some snippets I can upload soon.

Last but not least, I do hope I can do this blogging for a long time to come. I have a lot of projects that I want to start and I would love to post those progress here when I start on them.

Thanks for reading my introductory post! This is going to be a very personal blog and I do hope that I have content that interests you to stay along for the ride.

W13: “Dear future self…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear future self,

Well, well, well… I did say past or future, it’s still me who’s reading the letter. The previous letter was awkward but wow, it’s kinda been years.

Can’t say I didn’t find people who accept me for who I am and are willing to be a listening ear when I slam a door and storm out in anger… Yeah, the anger isn’t going anywhere regardless of this writing exercise. I can say I now have a close-knit group of friends and perhaps I’m no longer drifting with my sister as I used to be.

Ah yes, something prompted me to write today. I was feeling a little emotional today, the good kind of emotional. I am doing communal living with my friend group, it’s nice to have people around instead of just my sister and whoever’s place we were couch surfing. Being a nomad wasn’t all that fun, to be honest.

I feel grateful that I have these friends who don’t look at me like I’m crazy if I suddenly burnt something in an explosion of anger or suddenly disappeared without notice. Though the disappearance is still out of my hand as it doesn’t take into account the fact that I do have some form of control over not just falling into a different era or timeline.

Today is a quiet day because everyone is out for the time being, today is also the anniversary of my previous letter. Quite an accomplishment, Raven would say. She sees the silver lining in everything, I don’t know how she does that, it’s not even because she never experience the things that I experienced. I now have people who know when my birthday is and gets worried if I disappear for a too long period. I have people who I can go to the shopping mall with and binge-watch a TV show with or just have a karaoke session with. It’s quite a game-changer.

I’m not sure when in the past I resigned myself to the fate of living life with just my sister, keeping a large distance from everybody around me. I suppose the Anderson siblings were the first chip in my defence. Sterling for all his persistence and annoying questions was a nice change from people who sees me and sees my abilities and wants to kill me. Jemma was also a good change, kind and gentle like her brother, a willing listener and always a partial observer, she’s always Raven’s partner in crime when it came to cajoling me into going out to the club or to the mall. I can say Sterling has become a good friend, he and I were similar in so many superficial ways: our abilities, the difference between us was that he wasn’t jaded and cynical. Cynicism is a useful skill in the real world though…

Well, what I wanted to say was that, finding people who know the real you is a difficult and endless journey. I might not be at the end of that journey but I’m glad my future self will probably find more like-minded people with compassion in their hearts.

Have faith in humanity even if the majority of people dash that faith into smithereens.

Sincerely,
A better you.

W12: “Dear Malaysians…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear Malaysians,

Are you satisfied with the way the country is right now? No? I wonder why that is?

We are by no means incapable of being an advanced and independent country but due to the decisions of the country leaders, our progression has had several setbacks throughout the decades. We were a united nation and looked out for each other’s interests, we are slowly becoming that again even though some people would prefer all of us to be in disarray instead of fighting for the betterment of our nation.

I respect and applaud those who want to study abroad and come back to make the country great, but as a pessimist and a realist, I’m not sure what can be done with the state of the country as it is now. It had taken decades to erode the country’s foundations, it will take decades more to undo those erosions and create a better future for those to come.

We as humans have an unfortunate impatience to want instant gratification. Something that has taken years to be destroyed needed to be fixed with patience and meticulousness but you get tired of seeing them not instantly fixing it and so you decide to fire them and invite the same person that had eroded it in the first place to fix it. Was that a step forward or two steps backwards? I can’t tell, what with there being genuine good intentions to make it better but it has all been undone because of the want of instant gratification. Anything worth something always takes time to cultivate. People rarely want to cultivate anything anymore.

When it comes the time for me to vote during an election, I will do my duty as a person living in the country for so long and wants to see it flourish. I will cast my vote for someone who also wants the best for the country and will serve the people and not whatever agenda they have. It probably seems futile, I only have the one vote so what does it matter? On the contrary, my one vote will be a vote towards something I believe in and when a lot more people are voting for something else they believe in, there would not be much of a landslide of votes for the same old promises that seem to backslide the country even more.

Malaysia is a great country, we don’t have a lot of problems externally but we have a lot of problems internally. Racial biases are rampant in the political circles, I cry every time the ministers are in parliament. I wish they would discuss something that’s actually related to the country for once, instead of picking on healing wounds and adding salt to them just to irritate them purposefully.

Sincerest regard for the country I live in,
A person who can’t wait to cast their vote for a better future.

W10: “Dear pollutants of earth…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear pollutants of earth,

I wouldn’t say I’m completely environmentally conscious but I do try to recycle and reuse when I can (it makes me a little bit like a hoarder but whatever).

The same cannot be said about my country. I don’t wish to shame the people in charge for their decisions but considering the people that make decisions often make them with their own interests in mind and the people’s interests second, the country is in a terrible state when it could have been so great.

No use crying over spilt milk, they say. Those decisions were made decades ago and the consequences are still felt now. The pollution happened at one point and people had opportunities to curb the consequences but alas, people have other things on their mind that takes priority: money. And by people, I do mean the people with a greater influence that can do more for the environment.

The rich make up the minority but they are the ones that have enough power and resources to make the biggest impact on the environment. Instead, they use their money to make their ridiculous dream a reality but not prolong the life of the planet inhabited by humans. And unfortunately, even if time travel exists, what are you supposed to do? Assassinate the rich? Be the new Robin Hood, robbing the wealthy and giving back to the rich? Though to be honest, common people wouldn’t be able to get within feet of a wealthy person in any era.

Hmm, time travel . . . Considering the memes around the internet about people going back in time, it would not be too farfetched to say that time travel exists, does it? We will probably need some safety precautions written down and researched a little since jumping erratically into time and getting thrown out into another era accidentally is very different from purposefully going into a specific time and committing murder. It’s only murder if people found out somebody killed the person though. Nobody can say they didn’t die of natural causes if you’re good at killing.

Well then, I end this ramble here. It is time to see what needed to be done to make this time travel successful. If the world imploded on itself, well, it was inevitable really.

Sincerely,
Just a person in this world.

W8: “Dear haters…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear haters,

Well, how do I even address this? There are so many things in this world that so many people hate that they even forbid or ridicule others for liking it. People have different tastes and different interests, you know? You can’t police what other people like when you, as the hater, can’t police things you don’t want to see and hate people for creating those types of content.

Fandom is the most controversial and welcoming place depending on who decides to greet you on the other side when you first enter. You could be entering the fandom shipping a hetero pairing or a homosexual pairing, you might get welcomed with open arms or a sneer. Everything depends on a lot of things.

I don’t care about what other people are shipping as long as I can ship who I want. I ignore a lot of stories written for other pairings because I don’t want to read them yet or that they are not to my taste. Is that such a difficult thing to do? Just because someone created something that makes you curl your lips in disgust, it does not mean there isn’t an audience for the content, it is just not to your taste. Let other people create what they want, ignore them if it is not to your liking. You don’t need to spew vitriol and hate at people for liking the things they like and creating the things they want for the pairing they like.

But this also flows into hating characters. And no, I am not hating this character because they are a character of colour, I am hating this character for their shitty personalities. Oftentimes, I don’t even really care if a character is a character of colour, although the representation is nice, personalities can make or break a character and personalities dictates whether I like them or not. 

Because racism and any kind of phobia exist in fandom spaces as much as the world off the internet, people who like things and dislikes things in a broad category would get stoned to death metaphorically for daring to dislike a particular something. 

Truly, why must you haters encroach upon what people like and tarnish it? Just walk away and ignore what you don’t like. It’s not that difficult to do such a thing. But on a firmer note, being a hater just makes me think you like to spend your time being a spiteful being instead of a compassionate being. Would you say half the hateful things you spout on the internet without remorse if you were to say the same things to a person on the street? Would you?

Sincerely,

A person who’s been on the internet and fandom spaces long enough and is grateful to meet nice people instead of haters.

W6: “Dear god…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear God,

I want to ask, have you forsaken the humans you created? Humans have become greedier as the centuries go by and soon, this world that we inhabit will implode on itself. You used to have your disciples preach about “Loving thy neighbour” but truly, the people on this plane of existence love money more than they love other human beings. Why is that so?

Perhaps, I cannot blame everything on your teachings when it’s been known that humans would twist words just to have things go their way or if they could persuade someone to see things their way and lead them astray. It seems to be very hard for people to understand that, not everyone should have or need to have the same opinion as one person. I would think if they had grasped this simple idea, the world wouldn’t be so rife with people shouting at each other about different opinions and how your opinion means less because it’s radical or innovative.

Then again, mayhaps humans have just strayed far away from the teachings that taught us to love one another and treat one another kindly, as people are wont to do. Why is it difficult to treat each other with kindness? Do you like to assume everybody would trip you if you dressed a little too scandalously or talk oddly? Apparently, that’s how people live their lives now. You can’t be too odd if you want people to not side-eye you. You can’t claim to love a person of the same gender if you don’t want to get harassed. You can’t champion for a cause or something else will come to strike you down because you dared to overstep the boundaries given to you.

To be perfectly frank, all the previous paragraphs show a devolution of humans and not at all an evolution to be proud of. The adults are now much more short-sighted while the young adults champion causes like “Save the environment” and gets laughed out of the room because the adults want their oil money. Of course, I can’t stereotype everything like this but it is very apparent that adults nowadays have less maturity than young adults.

And don’t let me get started on the rich people of this world. They certainly don’t use their money to help prolong the lifespan of the earth but instead, use their money to create a ridiculous rocket to flee earth when the time comes. I can say with conviction that another planet would only fall to the same fate as earth if they never learned from history and at this point, it seems to be a steep learning curve when it comes to protecting the earth.

Ah, why am I writing this to somebody who would never read it? It is not as if writing this letter will suddenly give me a planet that is renewed. It would be a ridiculous notion, but perhaps you could give a worldwide vision of the earth imploding on itself if humanity continues on its course. It would be a great wake-up call, surely?

Wearily sincere,

One of the humans who have lost faith in humanity.

W4: “Dear mom & dad…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear mom and dad (but mostly dad),

Hi, I hope you find this letter, not in a frazzled state. I was wondering how long it would take for both of you to realize that I snuck away from home and ran away? Don’t worry, I didn’t run too far, I’m just having a long sleepover with the Thompsons.

Mrs Thompson has been very accommodating and brought me and Faith to school. I didn’t mean to worry either of you but I guess the fact that I ran away even when I’m not left wanting makes it seem like I’m a spoiled brat.

How long did it take for you or mom to find out? I am quite certain that mom would not be the one to find this letter. I know mom is quite passive-aggressive about everything I do and wishes I was a perfect daughter who didn’t care about exploring everything and aren’t curious about anything outside of the things she lets me do. You, my sensitive dad, on the other hand, like to encourage me to do anything I set my mind to. Taking me to the gun range was an exception, even though it was quite an enjoyable moment.

It was a little suffocating that I should be poised and proper even when I was 13 years old, but obviously, I’m not 13 anymore and isn’t afraid when mom gives me the cold shoulder or fly into a rage when I come home with scrapes on my knees and arms.

Don’t worry, I’m still going to school and doing my homework. I’m not flunking anything, I just wanted to leave the house . . . plus, it’s not exactly a homey place what with you and mom always working and me being an only child. Faith has been good company and so is her older brother, when he’s at home. He seems to be working a part-time job? I think I would like to do that too.

On another note, you shouldn’t try to talk to mom . . . about understanding or whatever. I’m not sure if mom would ever understand being a child when you’re a child and even at 17 years old, I’m still young and immature because I did run away. Even though it was planned, well it wasn’t a hundred per cent planned since I only asked Faith if her mom would mind when I ask for a sleepover. I don’t even know how you two made friends with Mrs Thompson. She’s so cool and laid back and you are both . . . serious and strict? Well, mom is more strict than you, of course, but the three of you just doesn’t look compatible on the surface.

Faith has been trying to persuade or convince me to return home but I think I want to stay at her house a little longer. Don’t worry, I’ll probably come home before graduation. And, take care of yourself, dad.

Sincerely,
Charity.

W2: “Dear past self…”

Name: Teo Yue Ern
Student ID: 2107224

Dear past self,

Hi. I don’t think I need to specify who wrote this considering this is supposed to be for my past self and you can probably come to the conclusion that this is your own handwriting. Though to be honest, I’m not sure how writing a letter to my past self would help with… What was it Raven said? “Process my emotions better instead of just repressing,” I believe was what she said. She could have just signed me up for a boxing class but I guess that’s just beating a punching bag and not actually processing my emotions, whatever that means.

Back to the point of this letter, there could be a lot of things I can tell you but honestly, I feel you’re already down the path I was down so this advice would have come a little too late. Although, me writing this letter doesn’t actually mean my past self would be able to read it but rather my future self looking at what my past self’s mental state was at, so to speak. If I did go back in time to find this letter, it’ll still be present me reading a letter I wrote… What a paradox. Or maybe I would have destroyed the timeline?

So, take care of yourself and be a little less short with strangers and other people. Not everyone you meet is out to get you. Raven is a pretty protective sister and friend, even if her being all smiles and extroverted grates on your nerves sometimes. It’s not every day that your own loneliness manifests into a physical human being that would tag along in everything you do. Raven means well and looks out for us, or you, but she just wants us to be happy even if we are very awkward and antisocial because time travel is not something that puts my mind at ease even after years of having this ability. The accidents, I call them accidents but some of them were real consequences of trying to make things better, are important and you should learn from them and remember them. There’s a reason why a fixed point in time travel is important. One misstep and you change the whole future into something better or worse. Thankfully, there hasn’t been any too big consequences as of yet, that I know of at least.

Also, there are people out there who can help you. If you can find them, that is. You should accept those help when you are able. We can’t all be lone wolves forever, even though dealing with other people is the type of trouble that I don’t need and usually hates. It’s suffocating to have to put on a mask for people and you have to deal with people because you go to school. Why can’t people just mind their own business?

Well, I hope this letter gets to my future and past self in good time?

Sincerely,
Your future self.

Backing up your document is the best you could ever do

Hello, yes, I haven’t written in a while again. I’m writing now because something catastrophic had happened to me, which you could probably surmise by the title itself. (Don’t worry, there’s a happy ending!)

I am currently working on several writing projects and joining a D&D campaign had added one more project, which was writing my character backstory. It is a pretty fun experience overall, my first D&D campaign ever! I am very excited to write the backstory of the character I’m playing, incorporating some details of the world that the DM has created.

My writing sessions are varied and can be any time at all and in this case, I wrote the backstory from 1 AM to 3 AM on October 5th and then I went to sleep. The next morning while I was gaming, my laptop met the Blue Screen of Death for some reason that I do not know of and I restarted my laptop and I opened my writing software. . . to find that I’ve lost 700 words out of the 1,500 words I wrote.

You can imagine my despair. I had deeply enjoyed the writing I did and I was pretty proud of some of the word choices I used and now, I’ve lost 700 words! I panicked, of course, and had told of my tragedy in my D&D campaign Discord server. One of the members in the server told me about data recovery software and I searched it up. I downloaded one but it didn’t seem to find the file that is actually corrupted or lost.

Google Search is my best friend during this crisis, truly. I found a mechanic built into the MS Word, Text Recovery Converter. I tried that with the file from my writing software but it still didn’t work. In a last ditch effort to recover my lost file before I had to write the whole thing again, I looked at the documentation of WriteMonkey.

I pressed ‘Ctrl + S’ a lot when I wrote the backstory and I could never believe that a previous version of my file did not exist and could not be saved. I trawled through the GitHub documentation, lo and behold, there was a function that enables you to look at your document restore points. I found the complete word count I had within the restore point! Thank goodness or I would have cried. . .

The moral of this story is: Always backup your documents no matter what writing software you use. It would save you the heartache, at least.

The starting point

Good day, folks! First, this is a progress update post and second, productivity feels hecking weird when you’ve been mostly a procrastinator your whole life . . . Anyhow, I am having a lot of fun thinking about this game and making progress on this game!

I am going to give some details about the game, nothing that will spoil the game I hope. The player will be able to play as two (2) characters, the titular characters so to speak. The game will be a point-and-click game with pop-up storybook aesthetic and there will also be a day and night distinction. These are all the things I want in the game, even though this is my first foray into solo game development, I am hopeful that I will deliver most of the things I want in the game.

On another note, I have been spending time scripting the story of the game! I know I said the fic will come first but at this point, I am daunted by the chapter outlines I have to write for the fic so I’m just splitting my attention on scripting the story, drawing game assets and then learn tutorials to make the game. I do want to have a demo out at the distant future, just to say that the game is real and is going to come out and not fade into obscurity. The game is going to be published on itch.io and GameJolt when I have a demo, the full version of the game will still happen.

In addition to that, I want to know on what platform I should export my game to. I am definitely doing Windows because that’s what I use, Linux and macOS are also a must because it’s widely used. Please comment on which platform would you like to have the game exported!

Scripted story using Twine

The decision to make a game

Long time no blog, folks! This post is essentially an announcement to the world, or just the internet, that I am going to be making a game.

This game is a fan game and based on a fan fiction that I haven’t written yet but has started to write outlines for. The fan fiction is the foundation that I’m going to build the game on but the fan game is also an experiment, in a way.

I call this game an experiment because I do want to make original games in the distant future and what better way to try out things by falling back on characters that already exists and is versatile to a change of story? The two main things I am experimenting on this fan game are the game play mechanics and art style.

I have already started writing story and backstory and ideas, this post is to remind me that I should at least have weekly updates of the project. I won’t be posting pictures or videos but I will be summarizing what I did for the week. The start date of the project is 30 August 2021.

As someone who procrastinate a lot and have a fickle relationship to commitment, I hope I succeed in this endeavour.